three.......

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!!

As today is a valentine's day, let's talk about relationship............

As a human, no matter a boy or a girl, we build a relationship with people around us because we want to know them. When we grow up, there is something inside our body that makes us attracted to our opposite sexes (maybe, some of them not but majority yes). We start to concern about our appearance, style, etc. We fall in love......................

When we build a relationship, we go step-by-step, starting from the introduction until the last result..... I introduce you the Knapp Model of Relational Development......

Here are the steps.....
Initiating.............
In this stage, we introduce ourself to someone who we like. We start a small discussion that is more likely to be general, let's say we are still in "safe conversation area". In this stage, our appearance may counts as this is the first time we meet each other. Some people really prepare their appearance but some do not. It depends on individuals.

As we passed through initiating stage, we move on to experimenting stage............................
We become braver, we want to know more about our partner. We ask more questions as we spend time together with that person. Sometimes, we find some similarities and we feel so excited about it. There is something that is indescribable going on in our body, all that we know is we are very happy.........

We get closer and closer to our partner, we feel comfortable when we are together. We show how care we are to our partner, we become more concern with his/her ccondition. When the right time comes, we express our feeling to that person, then if everything goes well, we become a couple. This is one of the happiest times for most of people, this stage is called intensifying...........

Next, we go to integrating stage, we announce to our social networks (e.g. family, friends) that we are in the relationship. As we are still in the beginning of being a couple, usually we will spend a lot of times together. We always together, it feels like we cannot be separated from one another. This is the "warmest stage" for our relationship as we have been successful to have him/her.

If we are really serious about our relationship, we bring it to the last stage which is called bonding..... We decided to spend the rest of our life with "the chosen one", we marry that person and become husband and wife. As time goes by, we have children and grand children and so on....
Isn't it beautiful to see the smooth and easy way to build a relationship until the last stage?
In reality, it is not always like that, there must be a "roller coaster" time in our life.

According to Knapp Model, there are 5 stages of becoming apart from each other, let's take a look.......

Differentiating, we do not feel comfortable in our relationship anymore. Conflicts come in and make our relationship in the unstable stage.

We feel that we are not interested to have a relationship with our partner anymore. We show that we do not want to know more about our partner. We are bored with that person. If we are in this time, it is called circumscribing stage........

We are in stagnation stage when we have lost that feeling to our partner. We do not love that person anymore. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice our feeling for something important (e.g. children, parents). Although we look like that we are still together in the outside, actually it is not in the inside.

Let's say, we break up. There must be a time that we want to avoid one another for a period of time. We talk as little as possible to our ex-partner. This stage is called avoiding............

Terminating.............
After we recover from break up's syndrome, we will try to move on as we still have future life. We may find another partner in the future. Life is still going on............

In order to build or break the relationship, you do not need to follow these steps from the beginning until the end. You can jump from one stage to another stage, depends on you..........

Here is 2 links to videos about a relationship..............................
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeQUbtmJkSo&feature=related (Lion King)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPrak2WrkSU&feature=channel (Short Movies-interesting)

Some tips from me to you........
Try to understand your partner and accept all the positive and negative things that he/she has. Be there when your partner need you.......

Happy valentine's Day......
If you have any experiences about relationship,,,, feel free to share......:D
Leave some comments, please.... :D